MCCAIN'S CHOICE, AMERICA'S CHOICE

I was skeptical at first about this Palin character. But after studying the record and the photos, I am now convinced that this could be a winning ticket!

THE PALIN SLUT

Every school has its bad girl. It's a sad aspect of the teenage, cultural landscape. We all know the type: They engage in pre-marital, vaginal sex… freely. They are shameless, seductive sirens, who use their budding sexuality as a weapon to distract boys from their studies, sports, church and family. They are motivated by the need for attention and compulsion for destruction. They are hell-bent to unravel the moral fabric of society.

When a teenage girl engages in immoral sexual acts with her vagina, she is attacking more than her family and community: She is attacking the very values upon which this country was founded. Therefore, a teenage slut is not merely a “good-time girl,” but a national security threat. And this lewd, manipulative strumpet should be treated as such.

Not even during the height of the Cold War was this country more threatened than by the prowl of loose girls. And as we struggle through this age of terrorism, these taunting vessels of wickedness become an even greater risk to our way of life than a Mexican bus-boy without a valid Social Security number.

When John McCain is elected president, he will know how to deal with this plague. Teenage girls who engage in vaginal intercourse should be removed from society, incarcerated and taught that their vaginas are predestined for a higher purpose.

Unfortunately, this tragedy does not bode well for Sarah Palin, the vice presidential candidate. What does it say about her parenting abilities if she failed to control her own daughter’s vagina? How can she be expected to control our daughters’ vaginas? She has failed in her own home. For the sake of our nation, John McCain must rethink his VP choice. We need a second in command who can control his own family, her own house. Not an absentee, professional female who can’t prevent her own daughter from slinging her vagina from boy to boy like most kids pass notes in school.

We have an obligation to prevent and persecute teenage girls who spread their private parts around like the common cold. Furthermore, we have duty to reject the candidacy of Sarah Palin for her failure to wrangle her daughter's legs and keep them together. Blame can not only be laid at the welcome mat of the Palin home, however. Obviously, young Bristol was exposed to information about her own sexuality and physiology through unauthorized sex education programs. There was most definitely a hole in her high school abstinence-only program through which harmful information was leaked. But still, this does not excuse or forgive the perpetrator. It merely fortifies the need to clamp down on the information and education our children can access.

Any decent parent knows that there are always alternatives to vaginal sex. And if we as a people can wipe out polio and TB, we should be able to eradicate the perilous contagion of the teenage vagina.